Reading, not reading.

so currently the internet is losing its shit over the fact that someone suggested that  reading people other than straight cis white men might be beneficial. And I’m just so tired of the predictable reactions to this suggestion. Reactions such as:  how dare people refuse to centre mainstreamed men all the FUCKING TIME, how dare we want to know what other people have to say,  how silly of us to think that other people can write well,  why do we think we have a right to centre the writers we want to centre in our lives? And even in feminist spaces this shit is  happening. A link to the article in a feminist space had people saying that not reading books by mainstreamed men reduces their rights and that we should be reading good books regardless of who the writers are. (which kind of makes me wonder, if all you care about is that the books are good why would you care that they weren’t written by mainstreamed men?)

It frustrates me that people can’t see that the problem is systemic and institutional, that more mainstreamed men get published and marketed  and the more books we buy and read by those who are not  mainstreamed male writers the more publishers will noticed that and start supporting and publishing more decentered writers.

unless we actively work against it we live in a world that is oversaturated with mainstreamed male voices, why is it wrong to take time out from that for as long as we like? let alone only for a year as the article suggests.

Also the pushback is always really odd to me as if somehow everybody is being FORCED to stop reading books by mainstreamed men, rather this being a suggestion or, as with myself, something someone just mentions in passing.

A while ago i took a year out from reading men for a year and its been a really positive experience for me. I still mostly don’t read male writers and the ones i do are decentered or are writing on a subject I absolutely cant find by someone else (though mostly if you take the time to look this is rarely an issue) , But i mostly still read books by women, women like me (several different flavours of queer, disabled, adopted, complicated class status, mental health issues) and women not like me (women of color, women from different religious communities, trans women, people at different places on the gq spectrum from me, working class women, women from colonised communities) and of course many of these identities and issues intersect, blur and cross over.

And this reading makes me stronger, makes my own voice stronger, makes me feel like i have more right to belong in the world makes me feel that I’m not  inconveniently crippled and queer, that i’m not a “shrill bitter adoptee”

And this reading teaches me how to support women who are not like me, teaches me how to hear their voices, how to help them make space for themselves, how to attempt to be a good ally to them.

The thing is I don’t need to read mainstreamed mens writing because society is saturated in mens thoughts, men’s words, mens needs, in a way that is damaging to those of us who are not mainstreamed men, to those of us that mostly neither have nor want what mainstreamed men want. Even if we stop reading books by these men its not like our world will be absent of them because THEY NEVER SHUT UP, and the world we live in encourages them in their not shutting up.

The other thing is I also don’t care if people do read books by mainstreamed men, what I care about is many of those peoples reactions to those of us that don’t,  what I care about is their refusal to accept the inequalities and imbalances in both society and publishing that means that mainstreamed men are by far the most likely to get supported, published, marketed, and read. What I care about is how the boundaries of those who choose to do this (who are mostly decentred in some way) are entirely disrespected

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Ground rules and boundaries for this here new blog

  • I will blog as and when I feel like it
  • I will blog about anything and everything and deal with the fact that some people won’t like that
  • I will not start fights on the internet, that is I might link to stuff i disagree with and talk about it but i wont get involved in long. time, and energy, consuming flame wars
  • I will not argue with anyone about social justice concepts and behaviours and why they are necessary
  • I will not tolerate, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, transmisogny, anti-semitism, racism, classism, lesbophobia, biphobia, ableism, classism  or anything else i have missed from this list but that is clearly in the same category
  • If i fuck up on one of the above issues i will listen to people when they point this out
  • I will not tolerate uncritically  pro adoption sentiment
  • I’m happy to discuss my religious beliefs and actions but i will not spend time defending them
  • some people will have primacy over others here and those people are: queer people, adoptees, disabled people, women generally, but especially those who fit in the aforementioned categories. (But these people must still respect all the above points)
  • I dont have to interact with anyone on here I don’t want to